Archive for January, 2011

Atheists Agree To Take Care Of Pets Left Behind

January 12th, 2011

Religion:

Recently a gentlemen by the name of Harold Camping has determined that the Rapture will take place on May 21, 2011. This is the second time that Mr. Camping has predicted the Rapture, having missed on his first attempt. Amazing that people keep coming up with these dates when Jesus himself told his disciples that even He didn’t know the time of his return, only the Father (God) knew. However if your a pet lover like me, don’t be concerned if Mr. Camping is correct this time.

A group of atheists known as Eternal Earth-Bound Pets, led by its founder Bart Centre, have established a new business that will offer to take care of anyone’s pets that are left behind after the Rapture. So if you’re a follower of Christ who believes that you will be taken in the Rapture before tribulation, for the small sum of $110.00, you can rest easy in Heaven knowing your beloved pets are still being taken care of here on earth. Additional pets are only $15.00 per pet. The organization now operates in 24 states with daily expansion. For any believer that contracts with EEBP, it is advised that you read the fine print of the contract. If it turns out you were not saved and get left behind, there are no refunds for any reasons!!

Over 200 people have already signed up for the service and the list is growing. Anyone interested may contact EEBP on their web site. Not me. I’m taking my little sheltie, Sheba…with me!!!

Only Baptist Are Going To Heaven!

Did you know that only Baptists are going to Heaven? No, I meant Pentecostals. No, I’m sorry, I meant to say Catholics. What am I thinking…it’s only Anglicans. Do you get my point? I am so sick of religious doctrines sending people to heaven or hell.

For any reader that does not believe that the Bible is the word of God, this writing will mean nothing to you. However, if you put yourself into the category of “Christian,” please, let me share a request. Stop your judgments!

Not long ago, on meeting a gentleman for the first time, I was given direction from him of my eternity. In a first meet, general conversation, he asked me, “Do you speak in tongues?” My answer was…no I don’t. He then said to me, “Then you know you’re going to Hell, don’t you?” After I overcame the shock, I said, “Thanks for giving me a heads up!”

Just to make my point and not to draw this out, let me quote a few scriptures, from a multitude of scriptures, that speak to the fact that Christ, not doctrine, is the path The Bible offers to salvation.

John 3:16. For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life. Notice the fact that the scripture says if we believe in Him…not a doctrine…we would have everlasting life.

John 14:6. Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me.” There is no question in accordance with this scripture, that you go through Jesus to get to God, not through a denomination.

Acts 4:12. Nor is there salvation in any other, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved. Again, I don’t see the word doctrine…we see the name being talked about…Jesus.

Romans 10:9. That if you confess with your mouth the Lord Jesus and believe in your heart that God has raised Him from the dead, you shall be saved. One last time, the scripture never says, believe as the Baptists…or the Catholics…or the Anglicans…or the Methodists….or the Pentecostals or the anything else. It says to believe in and confess the Lord Jesus…period!

In my opinion, man made doctrines, determined by some groups’ interpretation of scripture, is the most damaging aspect to those trying to find their way to Christ. So often it’s “If you don’t believe the way I believe, you’re lost.” Bunk! One only has to reference to the above scriptures, along with many others, to see that doctrine is not the way to salvation. For anyone who is going around every day trying to persuade people that your church or your doctrine is the only way to heaven…enough already. Read the Word and start with the book of Colossians.

This And That:

A man in Johannesburg, South Africa shot his 49 year old friend in the face, seriously wounding him. It appears that the two were having target practice shooting beer cans of each others heads. Now that’s what I would call Planned Failure!

Funny Ads:

Hope chest, brand new, half off…..long story!

Nice parachute for sale. $300 or best offer. Never opened….used once.

Until Next Time….America Bless God!